Consent
Consent is a vital part of sexual relationships. It doesn't matter if it's a one-night stand, friends with benefits, or a long-term relationship. You should always be giving and getting consent.
What is consent?
Consent is the act of understanding what is happening and saying yes to it.
It isn't 'blanket'. That means you need to get consent every time for every action. You can't assumed someone will say yes, just because they did before. You can't assume someone will be okay with anything, just because they've said yes to one type of sexual contact.
You can revoke (take away) consent at any time. Anyone involved in the sexual activity can take away consent.
Sexual activity to which one or more parties did not consent is sexual assault. This is a crime, whether or not someone used physical force.
It is also a crime to have sex with someone under 16 years old.
It isn't 'blanket'. That means you need to get consent every time for every action. You can't assumed someone will say yes, just because they did before. You can't assume someone will be okay with anything, just because they've said yes to one type of sexual contact.
You can revoke (take away) consent at any time. Anyone involved in the sexual activity can take away consent.
Sexual activity to which one or more parties did not consent is sexual assault. This is a crime, whether or not someone used physical force.
It is also a crime to have sex with someone under 16 years old.
Who needs to think about consent?
We all need to think about consent.
Everyone should know what it means to get consent and to give it.
You always need to get consent:
You can withdraw (take away) consent at any point.
Everyone should know what it means to get consent and to give it.
You always need to get consent:
- From everyone
- For every action
- Every time
You can withdraw (take away) consent at any point.
How to talk about consent?
We know that talking about consent can feel awkward and tricky. But it's also important.
It doesn't have to be a specific, formal moment. In fact, it is better if it is an ongoing discussion.
Consent doesn't always need to be verbal all the time. Think about how you can:
- Recognise what you want
- Check what your partner wants
- Find how to express what you do or don't want
- Listen to what your partner does or doesn't want
Ask, Listen, ReadAsk, Listen, Read is one way to think about consent. It encourages your to think about consent as an ongoing discussion.
ASK
LISTEN
READ
|
If in doubt about consent, ALWAYS ASK.
Your body might react to certain things, but that doesn't mean you've given consent. What you are thinking and feeling matters.
If you say no:
Your body might react to certain things, but that doesn't mean you've given consent. What you are thinking and feeling matters.
If you say no:
- Your partner should stop at once.
- You do not have to explain why you are saying no.
- You can say yes again later on.
What can affect consent?
Drugs and Alcohol
If someone is drunk or high, they might not be able to consent. This is because they might not really understand what is happening. If you are not sure if someone is too drunk or high to consent, you should not have sex.
Sleep / Unconsciousness
If a person is asleep or passed out, they are not aware of what is happening. This means they cannot consent.
Pressure / Coercion
If a person is pressured, coerced, manipulated, blackmailed, or threatened, they cannot consent. Even if they say yes, this is not proper consent. Proper consent must be given freely.
Ability to Communicate
If your partner cannot speak or clearly communicate with you throughout, they cannot consent. This is because in order to consent, someone also has to be able to revoke (take away) consent at any time.
People Under 16 Years Old
The law is designed to protect young people from being abused, harmed, or taken advantage of by adults. It is not meant to criminalise people who are both under 16, of a similar age, and who both consented.
If someone is drunk or high, they might not be able to consent. This is because they might not really understand what is happening. If you are not sure if someone is too drunk or high to consent, you should not have sex.
Sleep / Unconsciousness
If a person is asleep or passed out, they are not aware of what is happening. This means they cannot consent.
Pressure / Coercion
If a person is pressured, coerced, manipulated, blackmailed, or threatened, they cannot consent. Even if they say yes, this is not proper consent. Proper consent must be given freely.
Ability to Communicate
If your partner cannot speak or clearly communicate with you throughout, they cannot consent. This is because in order to consent, someone also has to be able to revoke (take away) consent at any time.
People Under 16 Years Old
The law is designed to protect young people from being abused, harmed, or taken advantage of by adults. It is not meant to criminalise people who are both under 16, of a similar age, and who both consented.
Kink and consent
Kinks are specific fantasies that some people enjoy in their sex lives. There a lots of types of kinks.
If you take part in kink, it does NOT mean consent is not important.
Some types of kink being extra risks. For example, tying your partner up or using blindfolds. The most important thing about taking part in kink is safety.
Many people use PRICK to stay safe during kinky sex. PRICK stands for Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink. This means everyone involved should know what they want and what the risks are.
There is no one way to bring kink into your sex life. If you are thinking about doing it, you should do your own research. It might be helpful to find specialist organisations for advice.
If you take part in kink, it does NOT mean consent is not important.
Some types of kink being extra risks. For example, tying your partner up or using blindfolds. The most important thing about taking part in kink is safety.
Many people use PRICK to stay safe during kinky sex. PRICK stands for Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink. This means everyone involved should know what they want and what the risks are.
There is no one way to bring kink into your sex life. If you are thinking about doing it, you should do your own research. It might be helpful to find specialist organisations for advice.