Sexting and Consent
Sexting is a word that combines sex and texting.
It doesn't have to mean texting. These days it can mean messaging on any app or device. This includes dating apps, WhatsApp, or social media.
Sexting can be chatting about anything sexual. That could be things you've done before or future fantasies.
Sending nudes is a specific type of sexting. It involves sending photos of yourself naked or with no top on (semi-nudes).
Find out more about sexting, sending nudes, and consent below.
It doesn't have to mean texting. These days it can mean messaging on any app or device. This includes dating apps, WhatsApp, or social media.
Sexting can be chatting about anything sexual. That could be things you've done before or future fantasies.
Sending nudes is a specific type of sexting. It involves sending photos of yourself naked or with no top on (semi-nudes).
Find out more about sexting, sending nudes, and consent below.
Why do people sext?
Sexting can be a fun part of your sex life. There are a number of reasons people do it.
Some people find it hard to talk about sex face to face. It can be even harder if it's new. That could mean a new person, but it could also mean a new desire.
Some people use sexting to flirt and build up sexual tension. This can make future sex hotter.
Some people use sexting to help them masturbate. Getting off with your partner can be fun, even if they aren't there.
Some people use sexting to connect with a long-distance partner.
There are lots of reasons to sext. If it feels right for you, that's what matters.
Some people find it hard to talk about sex face to face. It can be even harder if it's new. That could mean a new person, but it could also mean a new desire.
Some people use sexting to flirt and build up sexual tension. This can make future sex hotter.
Some people use sexting to help them masturbate. Getting off with your partner can be fun, even if they aren't there.
Some people use sexting to connect with a long-distance partner.
There are lots of reasons to sext. If it feels right for you, that's what matters.
Sending Nudes and the Law
It is ILLEGAL to send, receive, or own sexual content showing people under the age of 18. This includes naked and semi-naked photos. It also includes videos.
It doesn't matter if you're dating this person. It doesn't matter if you are under 18 as well. It doesn't matter if it's a photo of you.
It is also ILLEGAL to send naked or semi-naked photos to anyone under 18.
If you are worried about a photos of a child being shared, please contact Childline or Brook.
It doesn't matter if you're dating this person. It doesn't matter if you are under 18 as well. It doesn't matter if it's a photo of you.
It is also ILLEGAL to send naked or semi-naked photos to anyone under 18.
If you are worried about a photos of a child being shared, please contact Childline or Brook.
Sexting and Consent
You NEVER have to send someone sexual photos of yourself. Your body is yours. No one has a right to see it if you don't want them to.
Sometimes, people will try to pressure you into sending nudes. This is not okay. It is also not okay for you to try and pressure someone into sending nudes.
You shouldn't send nudes or sext with someone without getting their consent first. Remember that consent doesn't last forever. You should check with someone every time you want to play.
Sexting is also NOT a contract for future sex. Consent to talk about fantasies is not consent to carry them out. You still need to give and get consent for doing anything in person.
Sometimes, people will try to pressure you into sending nudes. This is not okay. It is also not okay for you to try and pressure someone into sending nudes.
You shouldn't send nudes or sext with someone without getting their consent first. Remember that consent doesn't last forever. You should check with someone every time you want to play.
Sexting is also NOT a contract for future sex. Consent to talk about fantasies is not consent to carry them out. You still need to give and get consent for doing anything in person.
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Before sending nudes
There are sometimes good reasons for wanting to send someone nudes. But you should always check in with yourself first and ask some simple questions:
Do I want to send nudes?
Is it fun for you to send nudes? Do you like that particular picture of yourself? Are you happy to be sharing it?
Do you feel pressured to send nudes?
Have they said they'll stop talking to you if you don't? Have they called you names like "prude" or "wimp" to convince you? Have they said that if you won't send nudes you don't trust them?
Do you want to send nudes because 'everyone's doing it'?
Have they said it's not a big deal because everyone does it? Do you feel like you want to be cool and do it too?
Do you think it will get someone to like you more?
Have they told you that it's the 'next step'? Have they said they need them?
These questions can help you decide whether you really want to send nudes.
If you feel pressured to send nudes, or you have been sent any sexual material without your consent, this could be a sign of a harmful relationship.
For more signs and where to go for help, click here.
Do I want to send nudes?
Is it fun for you to send nudes? Do you like that particular picture of yourself? Are you happy to be sharing it?
Do you feel pressured to send nudes?
Have they said they'll stop talking to you if you don't? Have they called you names like "prude" or "wimp" to convince you? Have they said that if you won't send nudes you don't trust them?
Do you want to send nudes because 'everyone's doing it'?
Have they said it's not a big deal because everyone does it? Do you feel like you want to be cool and do it too?
Do you think it will get someone to like you more?
Have they told you that it's the 'next step'? Have they said they need them?
These questions can help you decide whether you really want to send nudes.
If you feel pressured to send nudes, or you have been sent any sexual material without your consent, this could be a sign of a harmful relationship.
For more signs and where to go for help, click here.
The risks of sending nudes
Sending nudes can be sexy, but it can also be risky.
Once you send or upload a picture or video, you have no control over what happens next. Someone could send it to other people or post it online. Your friends, your colleagues, your family, and even total strangers could see it.
Even if you send it as a timed message, someone might screenshot or download it.
The picture or video could be on the internet forever and it could reappear when you least expect it.
Some things to think about:
If you need more advice on this topic, please see the Brook website.
Once you send or upload a picture or video, you have no control over what happens next. Someone could send it to other people or post it online. Your friends, your colleagues, your family, and even total strangers could see it.
Even if you send it as a timed message, someone might screenshot or download it.
The picture or video could be on the internet forever and it could reappear when you least expect it.
Some things to think about:
- Do you trust the person you are sending it to?
Are you sure they won't send it on or post it anywhere?
- Are you sure their phone is 100% secure?
Could someone else open the phone and see you message? Could they open it somewhere where someone could look over their shoulder?
- Are you sure they are who they say they are?
If you have only met this person online, could they be lying to you? It is easy to pretend to be someone else on the internet.
- If the wrong person sees the picture, could they blackmail or bully you?
- Are you breaking the law?
Are you sure you're both over 18?
If you need more advice on this topic, please see the Brook website.