Considering Where to Have Sex

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Choosing where to have sex is part of having a safe, fun sex life.

Some people will want to be adventurous with where they have sex. Some people won't.

​Whatever you and your partner choose, it's important to be safe.

Getting consent

Whatever type of sex you are having, where you have it can affect consent. You might be happy kissing on the couch, but not having sex there.

You should check with your partner(s) before doing anything new. It's good to make sure that they don't want to move somewhere else.

For more information, please see our page on Consent.

Talking about it properly

If you want to have sex somewhere new, you should talk to your partner(s). Telling them where you want to have sex is a good start. It can also be helpful to tell them why.

You might want to have sex somewhere that is:
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• Handy
• Private
• A turn-on, like a place where you might get caught
• Special, like a hotel room

Wherever it is, it's best to talk it through before you start anything.

Setting the scene

You should make sure that the place you are having sex is:

• Secure
• Private
• Comfy
• Free from interruptions

It is also a good idea to make sure you have access to what you need. 

This might include:

• Condoms
• Lube
• Sex Toys
• Towels
• Pillows
• Tissues
• Music
  

Whatever you need, you should make sure you have it before you start.

Having public sex

Dogging and cruising are the most common type of public sex. During public sex, you are in a vulnerable position. This makes it more risky than sex in private spaces. To stay safe:
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• Try to stay aware of your surroundings.
• Avoid taking too many valuables. If possible, keep what you do take in a secure place.
• Take your own supplies, like condoms and lube. You don't know if a partner you pick up will have them.

Remember you can withdraw consent at any time. If you feel uncomfortable, it is better to listen to your instincts.

​For more information, visit the Terrence Higgins Trust website.